The Hunger Games: A Parody

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE HUNGER GAMES.

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK (OR WATCHED THE MOVIE) AVOID THIS POST.







This is a parody I wrote for my AP Literature class. Enjoy. :)


Hunger Games Parody

            The time is the future and the setting is futuristic America, to be more specific, the region of Panem. Basically, this is sometime in the future in America and there’s the ever-present, ever-annoying, ever-watching government and then the people, who have been separated into 13 districts. District 13 decided the government needed to go and so, in all its swag, it rebelled and the government laughed and totally bombed and decimated the entire district, as well as blew up the rebels. In order to keep the other districts in line and to remind the people to be good little citizens, the Capitol implemented the Hunger Games, which has absolutely nothing to do with food and absolutely everything to do with death. So, it is the time of the 74th annual Hunger Games. There are 12 districts and the Capitol, which contains the President and the rich and wealthy subjects of Panem, who look like they are addicted to drugs and plastic surgery. The current President is President Snow, who is an evil looking Santa Claus who probably knows if you are sleeping or if you are awake. It is Reaping Day, which is where two tributes – one male and one female – are selected from the lottery of death and from each district. If your name is chosen, congrats and Happy Hunger Games; you’re gonna die. The story focuses on District 12, which is the district for mining, coal, and mine explosions. Our main character is Katniss Everdeen, who has a younger sister named Primrose, a distant mother, a mine-exploded dad, and the ugliest cat in the world, Buttercup. She likes to break the rules and sneak past the non-electrocuted electric fence to go shoot animals in the woods with her mad archery skills so she can feed her family and get stuff from the black market because everyone is suffering from poverty. There’s this guy named Gale who has a crush on Katniss but is too much of a wimp to admit it and instead decides to call her Catnip and reside in the friend zone. So, it’s Reaping Day and after hunting in the woods, Katniss, along with everyone else in District 12, go to the town square to watch as a psycho-looking Effie Trinket, a representative from the Capitol, draws the names of the 2 tributes. Prim is chosen and Katniss passionately delivers the extremely popular line “I volunteer as tribute!” and takes Prim’s place. The male tribute turns out to be Peeta Mellark, whose name might as well be spelled like ‘pita’ as in pita bread because he’s the baker’s son and is obsessed with bread as well as stalking Katniss. (Warning: a love triangle is approaching.) So Katniss and Peeta are shipped off to the Capitol where they train for the Games and Katniss is labeled a threat by President Snow because she’s rebellious and utilized her mad archery skills to shoot an arrow into the Gamemaker’s lunch. (Quick side note: the current Gamemaker is a guy name Seneca Crane and he has the most epic beard known to mankind.) The Games commence and people are stabbed, maimed, impaled, exploded, imploded, etc. There is also some neck snapping and burning. During the Games, the Gamemaker announces that instead of just 1 tribute getting to survive, 2 can live as long as they are from the same district, which obviously means Katniss and Peeta are going to live and be the last two standing. And, of course, it comes down to Katniss and Peeta and they are the only 2 still alive. As they hug and rejoice after shooting the last tribute with an arrow and watching him get eaten by some killer mutant dogs, the Gamemaker announces that the rule has been changed back to its original state: only 1 tribute can live. Katniss and Peeta decide they will suicide and eat some poisonous berries, and right when they are about to chow down, the Gamemaker comes on again and changes the rule back to 2 AGAIN and, boom, Katniss and Peeta are the victors of the 74th Annual Hunger Games. They are celebrated, congratulated, and they get to live-YAY. Meanwhile, Snow rages with anger because he knows Katniss’ rebellious acts against the Capitol will cause the good little citizens to realize they can overthrow the government, so he locks Seneca Crane and his epic beard in a room with only a bowl of poisonous berries, which sends the message: eat the berries and die or rot away in this room and die. Either way...just die. Katniss and Peeta are returned to District 12 and Peeta gets butthurt because he realizes Katniss was faking her love for him in the arena and has thing for Gale still. Boom.
More stabbing, maiming, exploding, imploding, angry President Snow, rebellion, and love triangles to come in Catching Fire.

The end.

~Amanda

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