REVIEW: The Light Among the Shadows by Lily B. Art (EXTREME MEGA SPOILERS)

⟡ INTRODUCTION ⟡

The Light Among the Shadows is a sparkling, sprawling fantasy that captured my heart instantly. Even before the story hooked me, its author did. I met Lily ‘by chance’ when a friend of mine shared one of her posts to her Instagram story on February 11th, 2026. It was a post Lily had made to promote that she was doing couple commissions for February, and I INSTANTLY clicked on it. Her art style had me by the throat and I *needed* to get a closer look. Within five minutes of finding the post and her page, I sent her a message asking if I could commission her for art of my characters…and the rest is history. 

In the midst of our conversation regarding the commission, I continued to unashamedly stalk Lily’s page. Again, I was (and still am) completely taken by her art style, and I also found out that she is an author. I purchased her book, The Light Among the Shadows (TLATS), the very same day, but it wouldn’t be until over a month later that I would read it. In the meantime, I was going through a very rough personal situation that was leaving me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually drained. In the background, God was continually nudging me about both Lily and TLATS. I was still in a reading slump, and reading was the last thing I wanted to do when I was feeling the way that I was. But it turns out that is exactly what I needed (so typical with how God works).

So, on March 26th while on a road trip from Idaho to California, I read the first half of TLATS. The story traveled with me through Idaho, Oregon, and took a rest stop with me that night in Nevada. I was completely enthralled the entire time I was reading, and had to pause a few times to collect myself. However, none of that compared to the next day as we travelled the remainder of the journey from Nevada to California. As we drove, I dove back into the second half of the story. In tandem with my road trip through valleys, mountains, deserts, passing by lakes, rivers, and winding through forests, I found myself immersed in a personal, internal journey that had me slamming the book shut, crying, and deep in prayer multiple times. I won’t get too specific for my own privacy, but this road trip I was on was not a happy one. In fact, I was terrified of the destination and purpose, and it was bringing up many negative memories and feelings that were very much playing on my CPTSD (I am officially and professionally diagnosed with this condition). As I got further into the story, I realized why God had been incessantly nudging me about reading TLATS and connecting further with Lily…I quite literally needed both this story and her presence in my life, right in that exact moment. When we were 20 minutes away from our final destination in California, I finished the book. Again, for my own privacy and to spare myself the emotional re-hashing and pressure to capture it all in words, I won’t be too detailed about exactly why this moment was so incredibly special, monumental, and needed, but I can say this: God had my and Lily’s paths cross by no accident, and at just the perfect time. Reading The Light Among the Shadows when I did and in the circumstances that I did was, and is, a precious pearl of a moment in my life that shines with God’s intentionality, love, redemption. His fingerprints are all over this book.

I will be diving into the specifics of why I loved and needed this book for the remainder of this review: so beware that spoilers lay beyond this point. This was just to set the context and to help explain why TLATS is, without a doubt, one of the best books I’ve ever read in my life. Lily’s book has the honor of being the first pleasure and leisure book I have ever tabbed up in such detail. Without counting, I know there are easily over 100 tabs I stuck into her book as I read it in the 2 days that I did, and each one is incredibly meaningful to me. I am worried mere words will fail me in being able to capture all that this story means to me, but I am going to endeavor to try my very best to do so. 

⟡ LILY'S WRITING STYLE + FAITH ASPECTS ⟡

Lily’s writing style is gorgeous, vibrant, and full of soul. The best writing is the kind where you can sense the author’s heart behind it, not just their voice. Lily achieves both beautifully. I would argue her writing stands on all its own, in a league of its own, and that is made possible by how obvious God’s hand is in this story. I don’t say that lightly at all - Lily’s story-telling capabilities are something I have only experienced at this level once before, maybe twice, with other Christian authors (funnily enough, they also write fantasy). Again, I am not typically one to gravitate towards fantasy books - I find fantasy beautiful and intriguing, and I enjoy many films and stories in the genre, but reading fantasy books wasn’t something I would usually go for. However, since my older brother (in law), Nathan Keys, is a Christian author who writes epic Christian fantasy, I became sucked into the realm of these stories. Nathan’s books were the gateway, and now books like Lily’s pave the path in all manner of God’s glory and gifting. I do not consider myself to be ‘special’ in the sense I believe I have a gift for sensing and finding God’s fingerprints in other peoples’ work, especially writing, but I know it is a gifting from Him that I possess, and I love being able to use it to build these authors and creatives up in their calling.

Something specific that I deeply appreciate about her writing style is the consistent use of ‘nature’ language. Flowers, trees, roots, rainbows, grass, dandelions, the sun, rivers…the Bible is not sparse in this type of language and description. Jesus describes Himself as the Vine, and we as the branches. Apart from Him, we cannot bear fruit. We lack life to the full. We wither and die. Multiple times throughout Scripture, our human lifespan is compared to that of grass or a flower: brief, brilliant, and even beautiful, but just as quickly, gone. Lily captures that in her take on this type of description, and like the Bible, it is achingly gorgeous and strikes the soul. One specific instance is near the end of the book, where she writes: 

Blades of grass brush through my curling fingers, and my nails dig deep into the dirt as I close my eyes. The rays are warm, while the breeze is cool. Soon enough, the sun will warm all in contact with it, and the air itself. Light changes the atmosphere, visually and physically. I hope it can change me. 

The physical earth. The softness of grass. The sun’s rays. Light. Warmth. Hope. Change.

Hope in the ultimate change: the passing from this life to the next, where no despair, decay, or death will find us. Our bodies may waste away and eventually die, but our souls…

After death, the spirit must go somewhere, for it is eternal.

Books like TLATS have that kind of eternal impact. That is exactly why this story is easily one of the best I’ve ever read in my lifetime, and will remain so for the rest of my life. I truly mean it when I say that, for me, I have found a story worth remembering and re-reading. It so profoundly impacted me, and I am so beyond thankful to have this kind of experience with this book. Fiction is a tool that can help us find our best and truest selves; it can reveal our capacity for empathy, hope, faith, trust, and connection. This is more than true in the case of TLATS. This story showcases the epitome of what genuine, unconditional love, deep empathy, steadfast and unshakeable hope, and deep-rooted faith look like. The primary reason for that? This story is rooted in biblical Truth and God’s view of us all: as precious, worthy of love and redemption, and promised glory at the end of this life. That is the Ultimate Hope, and that is exactly what Lily successfully endeavors to present as the main message: hope and love conquer all.

⟡ FMC: BRENDA & FEAR OF CHANGE ⟡

Change is odd—it can be beneficial or detrimental. In this case, it’s good, right? I’ll get married and start a family while residing in the same town as my parents and siblings. I’ve yearned for this, and I’ll never be too far from my childhood. I’ll release it, knowing it won’t run too far from me, and sometimes even come back to visit.

A personal issue I have with Christian fiction of any genre is that it always seemed too squeaky clean and clear cut for me. I joke that it seemed the worst issue a protagonist would have in Christian fiction is that they scrape a knee and it is magically resolved in 2 pages, and it somehow deepens their faith. That was how superficial most Christian fiction stories seemed to me. That was until I read my older brother’s book, and through him met so many other authors who are writing the type of Christian fiction that we, believers and nonbelievers, so desperately need. Not only do they showcase faith in a way that isn’t canned, corny, or cringe-worthy, but they do it in a way that doesn’t isolate or shut out nonbelievers. Characters are flawed, marked by pain and sorrows, and struggle with their faith, sometimes abandoning it entirely even if they believed in the first place. 

This is the case in TLATS: the faith allegory is presented in Chapter 1, right off the bat, but is fleshed out throughout the remainder of the story, resulting in one of the greatest and most heart-warming, hope-filled, and satisfying conclusions I’ve ever read. Again, there is genuine doubt and struggle: it is not a case of the characters finding faith in a higher power and immediately everything is sunshine and rainbows. And something unique with Lily’s faith system is that the ‘God’ in this book is a goddess: Syann, the Goddess of Light, who reincarnates in Brenda, an eighteen-year-old young woman. I actually loved this choice of the biblical allegory shedding some light (ha) on the beauty of femininity and the lifegiving, nurturing side of womanhood. Another issue I have with Christian fiction is that the female characters are often too soft, too wimpy, too weak, and too one-sided…they exist solely to be 1) be female and 2) love the male characters and make them seem more hot, desirable, and central in the story. Not so with Lily’s female characters, especially Brenda/Syann. 

What I loved is Brenda’s initial lack of faith in herself…and her own lore. In Chapter 1, she attends a stage play in her earthly town of Seren that literally reveals to her her own true backstory and prophecy: who she is, and what she is meant to do. Before this, she has a simple vision for her future: marry a ‘good’ man (one she doesn't truly love), have children, and establish a life for herself in that regard. However…she knows deep down this vision, while good and solid, isn’t all she’s made for. To be clear, this is NOT commentary on how women are made for more than being wives or mothers and should seek “superior” avenues of life. There is never any implication that being a wife and a mother - a nurturer - is a bad or weak path, and every woman in this story, whether single or married, childless or a mother, is portrayed exceptionally well. 

Brenda’s struggle with her desires and acceptance of change - what she has faith in - is something I deeply appreciated. She’s strong on her own, but deeply wants someone to share her life with, and even in that want she feels resistance. What does she truly want? 

She wrestles with this very human question regarding her future until the supernatural intervenes and it is revealed who she truly is…the reincarnation of Syann, the Goddess of Light. The prophecy that Athena shared during the stage play was in fact very real and very true. Brenda’s initial internal doubts about it are quickly turned on their head when she is confronted with the powers that be, powers that very much want to corrupt her and cut her off from her full potential and purpose. Now bound to the prophecy that is set in motion, she has little choice but to follow the star that will lead her forward to her destiny: to re-open the borders of Secreth (Heaven) and save people from the darkness and chaos of Uxaar the Shadow God.

This thrusts her straight into confronting her struggle with change and what she truly wants, especially when she reunites with the one she truly loves: her childhood best friend, Oren Silvius, who is suffering from a debilitating chronic illness. Together, the two set out to discover their fates: can Brenda fully embrace her identity as Syann, and bring healing and hope to Oren?

All of these events encompass Chapters 1 through 7. It isn’t until the end of Chapter 11 that Brenda finally snaps to a decision following a hallucination, a hypothetical…a future where she remains Brenda, is still able to pursue the relationship with Liam (the one she doesn’t truly love), and relinquish the truth of who she really is. What is so striking is that she realizes how much of a prisoner she would be if she chose that path: chained not only to her own restricting expectations of herself and her future, but chained to Uxaar’s will for destruction. Darkness.

Faced with this shocking conclusion, Brenda confronts Uxaar within the hallucination, in which the Shadow God himself stands between her and her destiny: the future where she embraces her true self as Syann, and her true love, Oren.

In a bold proclamation, she says: “I’m not Brenda! You failed!”

And that leads to the following exchange:

“It’s not too late to return and embrace this way of life. Beyond that door, you can return to your family and escape this burden. I know you’re terrified of it,” Uxaar offers soothingly. “I’ll give you a second chance. Not only that, but you can have whatever you wish. If you yearn for a happy life with Oren, where he is free from his ailments, I’ll provide it. If you wish for Athena’s safety, I shall grant it. All you must do is let go, leave this conflict behind, and forget Syann exists. You’ll be happy, truly.”

I turn back, seeing the door to Oren’s room. It resounds with the knocks pounding on it. Voice after voice echoes from it—my family, Liam, my friends, begging me to come back.

“And live a lie?” I sharply pivot toward Uxaar.

“You’ve always lived a lie, yet you adored it. It meant everything to you. Why abandon it now?” Uxaar asks.

“Because, unlike before, I know the truth! That I am Syann, the Goddess of Light! And you, Uxaar, will free me from this illusion!”

Following her embrace of the truth and of change, she begins to finally feel fulfillment. Her faith in herself begins to truly take root, and this is what grants her power. Faith in her identity, her future, and in her ability to accomplish her true purpose:

To purge and purify the Darkness and bring souls home to Secreth.

In short: I adore Brenda/Syann. Fully. She is someone that I, and I imagine many others, can aspire to be like. Her struggle to embrace change is so very human…and also a struggle worthy of a goddess. Her journey honestly made me imagine what it must have been like for Jesus Himself: to abandon glory and to embrace the change of becoming a man, yet still fully God. I think that’s why I find her character so compelling…besides the fact she is a woman and the savior tasked with vanquishing the darkness, her humanity shines through in ways that spark connection and a deep resonation with her fears. Change truly is the bane of human existence. Time doesn’t stop, it flows ever forward. So…what do we do? We only can look forward to the future, making a stream of continuous choices, knowing they not only affect us, but those around us. Especially those we love.

That is what I adore about Brenda/Syann: her unconditional love. She allows herself to wallow, to pity her situation. But not for long. Her pillow-punching and frustration give way to finding a sense of peace in her prophetic predicament - and she only moves forward with the knowledge that she has been tasked with. What once was a burden now becomes something far greater: a responsibility that lends her the power to bring freedom, salvation, and a chance to find the Light. This becomes even more important for her when she realizes the gravity of hope she can bring to the boy she never lost. The one she always missed.

The one who needs change the most…the change from hopelessness to hope.

And Syann is his key to that. That invites true faith: placing trust in the kind of love that defies all odds, even death, to bring forth a freedom one could never even dream possible.

An altar is a place where sacrifices are made. In the stories, the individuals who sought purification would offer up their Darkness and their connection to Earth in exchange for eternal life in Secreth. In return, they would experience a life of unparalleled bliss and freedom. However, what did they truly sacrifice? Who would willingly choose to live in Darkness? They didn’t miss anything. So, why do I believe I will? I am afraid of change, of letting go, and of surrendering myself to someone else. Despite my attempts to dismiss the identity of Brenda, I still yearn for her desires and grieve the loss of them. I had always desired a long life, envisioning a future with marriage, children, and love. I longed for countless more adventures, yet I fear that my time is drawing to a close. When I lie upon the altar, it feels like my deathbed or even a coffin. Despite my emotions, I am not dying yet. I still have one final objective, one final sacrifice to make in the Dusk realm…I’m the embodiment of the altar, and I must undertake the journey to vanquish the Shadow Incantations forever more.

⟡ MCC: OREN & FEAR OF HOPE ⟡

My breaths become surprisingly steady. Through my blinking eyes, I take in the colors. The natural soft blue of the sky shines beyond the billows of flame. I despise blue. I didn’t before, but now it’s a painful reminder that stirs fear in me as vast as the sky itself.

As explored in the previous section, Brenda’s greatest struggle is related to change, as well as finding faith in herself and her true calling as the Goddess of Light. On a similar theme of faith and change…there is Oren Silvius. His ultimate struggle is with changing his mindset to one of hope, of having faith in his worth and ability to be healed. To be loved.

Remember how I said I was reading this book on a literal and internal road trip? Oren was a huge, if not the main, part of that. As I texted Lily as I read and finished TLATS: Oren is me, and I am Oren. Truly, I do not think I have ever connected with a fictional character as deeply, truly, and fully as I connected with Oren. I do not say that lightly at all. I have been consuming fiction all my life and have an array of characters that I adore and see myself in, but I can say that about Oren Silvius most of all. 

I relate to Oren due to his pain and struggle with wanting to live, which is introduced in his very first POV chapter (Chapter 2): 

My body hurts to live in. My heart aches, my head aches, everything aches. I don’t want to ache anymore. I crave peace. Is death the path to achieve permanent oblivion from pain? Death’s hand has been persistently reaching out for me, and I’ve grown tired of resisting it. Would it be easier to take its hand and surrender? Or do I take the example from my family and keep fighting? I’m never certain.

Coupling this with depriving himself of his reasons to live (primarily by isolating himself and tamping down his desire to reunite with Brenda) and his forms of self-punishment (“These stories recounted our adventures. As I read them, I was astounded by the fact that I had experienced what felt like the most precious memories of my life. The act of forgetting her and these moments is a punishment”), I found myself immediately resonating with him. I have thought along these lines and self-punished in similar ways far too many times over the course of my life, essentially wishing all the time I was dead, especially on the days when the pain, the aching, was mind-splittingly horrible. Later on in the story, in Chapter 12, Oren experiences a dream-like state where he is “dead” and is witnessing his family’s reactions to his passing, and then experiences his own funeral, where is buried alive. To say I also felt like I was suffocating alongside him would be an understatement. He calls back to this moment in Chapter 18: 

My clouded vision is now only in tones of blue, the color associated with despair. I can’t move or speak, no matter how hard I try. It’s like I’m in that horrid illusion again, where I’m dead and can’t move, but this is worse. The grave now is my own body.

This is about where God took over for me in my experience of reading this story for the first time, and in the timing it was occurring. In the best way possible, which seems odd to say, Oren’s character arc very much triggered my CPTSD. Some of my worst memories were rushing through my mind as I read, especially Chapters 18-25. I had to stop several times and close the book, literally fighting the urge to break down into ugly sobs. But even in the midst of that, there was a glow of hope that warmed over my soul: a supernatural kind of peace. God was cradling my very wounded, broken heart and spirit, using Oren’s struggles, pain, and suffering to remind me of my own…and to remind me that it all meant something. Because, of course, Oren doesn’t stay in that deep pit of agony and despair, though it’s all he knew and suffered through for nearly 18 years. For me, that suffering has lasted nearly 30.

Pain can make and break a person. A spirit. So often, too often, the pain becomes so unbearable that seeking a way out becomes a fantasy. That fantasy gives way to delusions: Everyone would be better off without me. I’m a mistake. I should’ve never been born. I have no purpose. I’m worthless. This will all stop if I just die. 

Pain distorts reality and truth and can lead to some of the most soul-sucking lies. It can also cause someone to question who they truly are as they wrestle with their worth. This is why Oren not being able to decipher if his emotions or perceptions are from himself or from Uxaar was especially soul-wrenching for me. He already struggled with deep self-loathing, which is a huge part of my personal journey, and then when he learned (MEGA HUGE SPOILER) that he was Uxxar’s Shadow…it caused him to begin to question his entire existence, including the love that Syann has for him, the one thing that motivated him to keep striving, to heal, to desire to live.

Was any of it real? If Uxaar had controlled me, could he have influenced my feelings for Syann? The kiss back in the cave—it shocked me when I did it. When I held her hand, it felt as if I had lost all my self-restraint. Is that why? Or was I flustered and in love like I thought? Was Uxaar behind it all, pushing me past my boundaries to think and act on things? What if it’s even deeper than that? My depression following my grandparents’ death, my hardships with eating and lack of motivation to leave the house— was it Uxaar inflicting me? Not only has he made my life a living nightmare, but he also influenced my decisions and my emotions. I’m only a puppet, a doppelgänger.

This is where the tiny bud of hope that had begun to blossom in him is completely extinguished. He is left full of rage and despair, the depths of which are unfathomable. This is something I too have experienced. 

The worst part is how I mourn them, too. No one knows that. No one cares, nor should anyone care. Everyone wants me dead now, including myself. What a place to be.

Oren never was a bad person. He was manipulated and tormented into believing this - Uxaar’s possession of him, and thus the subsequent destruction and death that follows, were never his fault. It could be argued that Oren’s suffering is his parents’ - Ebony and Philip’s - fault. But that’s just it…in reality, placing blame when it comes to generational curses is never the true path to healing. Of course people play a part in pain, in deep-rooted trauma. But at the end of the day, all one can do is learn who they are apart from their family, their genetics, their past, their crutches…and begin to heal. Walk on their own. Look forward to their future. This by no means dismisses the absolute gravity of the agonizing pain that wracks the soul, mind, and body when it comes to trauma, self-loathing, and wrestling with suicidal thoughts and ideations. By no means. If it was so easy to let go and heal, suicide statistics wouldn’t be what they are. If hope was so easy to cling to, depression and anxiety wouldn’t be raging across the globe. If human love wasn’t so fickle and conditional, there wouldn't be as many broken and jilted people as there are. 

That’s exactly why I love and adore the shift in Oren’s mindset…even if it doesn’t yet fully take root and he still tries to carry out an attempt on his life.

Now, my soul feels lifeless and devoid. Uxaar has vanished from my being, leaving me with fragmented thoughts and memories that I can’t comprehend. Am I still the same person I once was? Or is my mind merely a reflection of what Uxaar left behind? Have I ever truly thought for myself? Did I genuinely love Syann? Do I harbor feelings of pity or hatred toward my parents? Or was Uxaar manipulating these emotions for his own amusement and entertainment? Well, I currently love Syann deeply and miss her more than anything. She’s the reason my weeping persists. As a child, I adored her before Uxaar discovered that Brenda was Syann. That signifies something. My feelings for her are an integral part of me, regardless of their origin. I cherished her above all else and everyone else.

Syann’s ‘death’ leaves Oren at the brink of his own demise…but that doesn’t dismiss the power that her love for him had on him. In fact, it’s what unlocks his acceptance of the fact he is good. He is worthy. He was loved, cherished, seen, and heard despite all of the unfairness, damage, trauma, and lies. His worth never wavered in the face of all of that horrendous pain. Not once.

So, when Syann comes back to bring him Home to Secreth…he finally realizes it was all worth it. Because he was worth it.

Hope was worth holding out for, worth holding onto.

Uxaar had blinded me with ideas of being worthless, weak, and undeserving of life. Thanks to Syann, I know that none of that is true. Her truth is my truth, that I’m loved, that I matter, and that I’m worth fighting for. I finally belong. The days of being an outcast are over after eighteen years of struggles. At the time, I thought they’d never cease. Now I realize I was a hopeless fool. Thank the Light for second chances.

⟡ ROMANCE: BRENDA SYANN & OREN ⟡

“I would do it a thousand more times for this outcome, Oren. I have always wanted this for you, just as much as you longed for this healing. You won’t have to hide anymore. As soon as this is all over, I will never have to miss you again.”

So, let’s talk about the romance between Syann and Oren.

In a word: Immaculate. Two childhood best friends who lose contact with each other, only to be reunited years later and reconnect in memory, heart, and soul? FOR ETERNITY??? Yeah, I’m sold.

I am a sucker for childhood friends to lovers, and this couple is no exception. At all. So many quotes between these two absolutely SEND me into orbit. I adore that even after their time of separation, neither one of them forgot about each other. Especially for Oren, their connection and bond was a source of light, hope, and a catalyst of meaning. A reason to live.

Brenda/Syann never once gives up on Oren, even going so far as to show the ultimate form of love: sacrifice.

No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13

Unconditional, sacrificial love is humanity’s salvation. This was accomplished by Jesus on the cross. He bridged the brokenness between God and mankind and openly invites anyone, no matter how broken or scarred, to become a part of His family and kingdom. To gain everlasting life, where no pain or sorrow or death will mar their souls.

This is exactly the allegorical and symbolic connections on display with Syann and Oren. Syann is the ‘Jesus character’ and Oren essentially symbolizes all of humanity. Apart from the Light, we are cast into darkness. Hopelessness. Rot and decay, doom and despair. We are manipulated by the enemy, who in TLATS’s case is represented by Uxaar (Satan) and the Geron (demons). There seems to be no escape, but there is a Way: it involves sacrifice. Jesus paid it all, but we must daily deny ourselves, take up our cross, suit up in our armor, and fight the good fight. It’s exhausting. There are days we absolutely fail and fall. But that’s where love comes in: without others, we will never survive. We will never thrive.

His spirit is blossoming, and I eagerly anticipate the growth and color that will emerge with increased sunlight…I yearn to witness Oren Silvius in his full potential—his full bloom. 

Jesus, through His sacrificial and unconditional love for us, granted us this kind of power: to help others and to bring them into His saving grace. To help one another realize our full potential as children of God. This can be achieved through many types of love: familial love, friendship & platonic love, and romantic love. Self-love is also part of this, too, which is why self-loathing is a main cause of broken relationships and suicide.

Love your neighbor as yourself. - Matthew 22:39

Loving others as we love ourselves is the second “greatest and most important”  commandment that Jesus gives. This commandment offers a solution to humanity’s greatest pain, and directly combats one of the most utilized tactics of Satan to attack us: driving us into self-isolation.

Oren was isolated. He had people who loved him around him - family and friends - as well as the one he loved the most: Syann. But because he closed his heart off and unclung to hopelessness, the love couldn’t penetrate and permeate his pain.

What I loved so much outside of the absolute adorableness of Syann and Oren’s romantic love is this: after Syann dies and Oren believes she is truly and fully forever gone, all of his loved ones come around him. Floria, Gene, Elouise, Jace, Valerie…there is forgiveness, reconciliation, and a reminder that though one love may die, its power doesn’t fade. Love invites loss. Loss is another one of humanity’s greatest pains. But without loss, love wouldn’t be so life-changing and life-saving.

The love that is shown to Oren following Syann’s death is the crux of what keeps life worth living.

And, of course, once Syann and Oren are reunited in Secreth…there is the true realization of their love, their devotion, and their connection. A display of just how powerful love is, and how being loved and loving others is what makes all pain, all agony, and all suffering worth it.

His mouth crashes into mine, pressing into me in a way he never dared to kiss me before. This kiss obliterates my awareness of time and space transpiring around us. There’s only us, no limitations, no injuries, and no bystanders. Our adoration harmonizes in this intimate beat, luring my mind into a state of euphoria. His fingers that cradle my face are warm like sunlight, the taste of him is chilling and invigorating like mint, and his scent is soothing, like the pages of a book you’ve read a million times to memorize every individual word by heart.

I yearn to memorize every fiber, every freckle of him by heart, because Oren Silvius, you are the most exquisite one of humankind, and I’ll never get enough of you. My desire will never be satisfied, nor do I want it to be, because I want to relish you for all ages. And that I will.

⟡ SIDE CHARACTERS ⟡

Though Brenda/Syann and Oren have center stage in this story, that doesn’t stop the large cast of side characters from shining through. I want to highlight a few:

Athena

Athena’s face lights up with a tearful, vibrant smile. She dismounts from the horse and walks toward me. Elouise hesitates but follows behind Athena. “Syann! I knew you’d return! I knew it!” Athena exclaims. Her voice is a mix of laughing and crying. I hold my arms out, letting her embrace me. “After all that time, I never doubted you.”

I know Athena has a tragic backstory, despite not knowing all of the details quite yet (more will be revealed in Our Fall Among the Stars, the prequel story that Lily is writing!) Her connections with Philip and Ebony are enough to give a glimpse into the pain she endured following losing them, as well as the subsequent torment from the Geron. Yet despite it all, Athena never gave up hope. In fact, she sacrificed her own reputation by putting on the stage production that provides Brenda with an idea of who she really is…though she doubts it at first, as do most of the people in Seren. Yet Athena doesn’t waver in her preaching of ‘the gospel,’ and her warning and call to action does ultimately result in the salvation of many people, and Syann’s return. I love her tenacity, fearlessness, and dedication to her values. She is a model for what it looks like to continue to defend the truth despite opposition, and to remain faithful to her values.

Elouise

“I knew you’d be the one to save him! I always knew!” 

“It was you who kept him going through the Darkness, Elouise. You were his light while I was sleeping. You are such a light.” I smile at her. “I want you both to come with me.”

Elouise, as Syann says in this exchange, is such a light. Though she was spared (for the most part) from the pain of the past, she still has endured enough to know how much is at stake. In the face of that, she chooses to remain hopeful that there is redemption on the horizon, both for her and for Oren. Her loyalty and love for Oren do not falter, and she consistently reminds him that he is worth fighting for, worth healing, and worthy of life. Her dedication to him is a pillar of his strength - without her love, Oren might’ve never made it to see his reuniting with Syann. This is why true, unconditional familial love is so deeply important. Family is a foundation - if that foundation is cracked, development and growth are stunted. Elouise’s love for Oren is crucial in his arc from hopelessness and despair to hopefulness and desiring to live.

Jace

“I’m truly sorry, from the depths of me, I am, about Syann and for how I made you feel. I know forgiveness is much to ask for after how I treated you. I’ll be honest, I resented you, heavily. I felt restrained, that I couldn’t live the life I wanted because Uxaar had a target on my family. I couldn’t bring myself to marry or travel as I desired because I couldn’t leave Mum alone in that situation. She needed me to take care of her and be the man of the house. I never once considered your feelings, only my own and what I had to sacrifice. Now I see how harmful that was to you and Elouise. She doesn’t want you gone! She needs you! You are part of our family. I know, it’s broken and wrecked, but that doesn’t mean we give up on repairing it. I’m not going to give up on it. Each time you run away, we will keep on after you because we aren’t better off without you! I was wrong! I was dead wrong, Oren. I was horrible to you and Elouise!”

Initially, Jace is incredibly easy to dislike. However, as the story progresses, it becomes clear that his rudeness towards Oren, abrupt nature, and seemingly selfish conduct all stem from a desire to protect those he loves and unresolved grief. Jace’s ‘redemption’ near the end of the book, where he seeks forgiveness from both Oren and Elouise, provides a picture of how important reconciliation is. Though his actions were hateful, they were never truly coming from a place of malice. His own deep pain distorted his behavior and outlook on life. Once he recognizes that, he doesn’t seek to make excuses or to justify himself, but to openly admit his wrongdoings and forge forgiveness. This is honorable, especially since many people choose to maintain a victim mentality and project their issues onto other people. I really loved Jace’s example of admitting his pain, though very valid, resulted in actions that were not justifiable. This kind of recognition is another side of familial love and bonds - families, plainly put, do not always get along. Dysfunction is common, as well clashing beliefs, values, and mindsets. When members can put aside their differences and work on forgiveness and understanding, the bonds can become so much stronger, resulting in a safe haven.

Gene & Kipper

“Another terrific thing, when Syann returns for you, she’s going to take you to Secreth. Secreth is a paradise realm where you can live forever. With forever, you can make up for the years you’ve lost,” Kip says.

“I still have much to learn about this realm, but I hope you can all come to the Dawn one day. It’s so different.” I’m surprised Gene seems so happy only days after losing Kip. Maybe he believes he will reunite with him again, after all the time he’s spent with Athena and Elouise.

I adore these two boys. Again, they exemplify how pain and tragedy do not need to lend themselves to despair and hopelessness. Both of these boys are orphans, having lost their family, but are adopted into a new one where they can thrive (with Floria in the village). Under Floria’s care, they flourish. The same can be said with their brotherly bond. Gene and Kip’s friendship and affection for each other provides a place for their broken hearts to mend. Their connection spurs the other on towards the future, forging resilient spirits and steadfast hopes that life can only get better. The losses they endured spark a deep appreciation for what they have, and serve as reminders to treasure and cherish each other and their lives. Even when Gene loses Kipper, Gene’s heart does not turn away from what he has come to believe. He doesn’t even fall into hatred towards Oren, instead being able to see past the manipulation and recognize that it wasn't Oren’s direct doing. Gene holds out hope that he will see Kipper again one day, which occurs in their reuniting in Secreth. They quite literally pick up where they left off - their unshakeable brotherly love never waned. They are a prime example of the kind of platonic love that is also so desperately needed in this world: displayed both in fiction and in reality.

Floria

“That’s why it’s so important now more than ever that you surround yourself with people who want to save you. The voices in your head are going to wound you and make you believe that you are only what Uxaar made you, but that version of you is dead. Don’t allow it to live on inside you. You must let that version of yourself go and see yourself as someone new. There’s no relief in suicide. It will send you straight to the Underealm where pain is unimaginable. I felt far greater pain than I ever did after my death. In the Underealm, I faced Uxaar again, where he mocked and terrorized me until Pollus brought me back. If you choose to take your life, Uxaar will undoubtedly do the same to you. Is that what you really want?”

I love Floria so much. She is similar to Athena in having experienced profound loss, torment, and manipulation, and yet remaining both strong and soft. Her traumatic childhood leaves her struggling with regrets, but she still chooses to move forward knowing that she can bring hope and healing to others. She carries a reminder of the infinite treasure that sacrificial love is as her friend died to bring her back from the Underealm, and she will not easily dismiss or desecrate that sacrifice. This helps her become a well-loved leader in her community, as well as full of wisdom. I appreciate her example of how loss and trauma can result in becoming a mentor for someone else in their pain and suffering, and how humility and wisdom often stem from the deepest forms of agony.

Ebony & Phillip

“Ebony and Philip had such bright futures waiting for them. I never saw two people more in love. They both wished to be married and have a family, but now they’re either dead or oppressed by the Geron’s men.”

Also like with Athena, Ebony and Philip’s backstories are incredibly tragic, and even more so. Their choices lead to the birth of Oren, who is ultimately doomed from the start because of their ‘generational curse.’ Again, despite this, Ebony and Philip are not fundamentally bad people. They made mistakes that resulted in extreme levels of trauma, loss, and death, but even still, there is redemption and hope for them. There are no borders when it comes to unconditional, sacrificial love and divine redemption, and they are a prime example of this Truth.

⟡ PERSONAL CONNECTIONS ⟡

Most of us can testify that we love fiction because we can see ourselves in it: our flaws, strengths, victories, struggles, and other pieces of our life stories. We love fiction because it’s a mirror to reality, one where we feel more confidence, a sense of control, and camaraderie with characters who reflect our very selves and souls back to us. TLATS did all of this for me, on a very deep and personal level, one that I felt in my breath, blood, bones, and brain.

As I mentioned earlier in this review, I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago (July 2024) with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). It’s similar to PTSD, but slightly different. The main difference is that CPTSD stems from prolonged, repeated trauma; PTSD usually stems from one major incident of trauma. CPTSD is common in those who experienced abuse or trauma they could not escape from, such as children in abusive homes or adults in abusive relationships. You are captive. Trapped.

This is why I relate to Oren so incredibly deeply. As I wrote earlier: I have been consuming fiction all my life and have an array of characters that I adore and see myself in, but I can say that about Oren Silvius most of all. I’ve made many a joke to Lily about this, but there is a grave, yet beautiful, seriousness in it.

I have struggled with nearly 30 years of trauma, rejection, deep self-loathing, and suicidal ideations. In connection with that came many forms of addictions. Crutches. Like Oren, I have spent most of my life fantasizing about dying, of ending my pain once and for all, and in the meantime limping through life by self-punishing and self-medicating.

My diagnosis process began around 2012, but nothing ever solidified until fall 2014 following my second suicide attempt following my 18th birthday. I call it an attempt because that’s what it was. I was on my college campus on the highest story of the library out on the balcony. I had one leg already over the railing, tears streaming down my face. I desperately hoped that I would instantly break my neck once I slammed into the pavement below, that my death would be relatively quick, though not painless. As I stood there, white-knuckling the black railing, a breeze gently caressed my face and tousled my hair. It was nighttime, the sky completely dark except for the very full moon shining down. I turned my attention from the ground below to the sky above, taking in the silver glow of the moon. And in that moment, I felt and heard God. He wasn’t done with me yet. There was nothing but softness in that moment. Nothing but tenderness. The cool night air and the beams of the moon soaked my torn heart and soul in a radiance that I will never forget.

In complete silence, almost like I was in a trance, I withdrew my leg from over the railing, let go, and made my way from the balcony, through the library, and back to my dorm room. I ended up in the shower, curled up in a corner, sobbing loudly, without fear of others hearing me. When I left the shower, there was a small crowd of curious girls trying to figure out what was going on, but I didn’t even pay them any mind. I returned to my room and called the Suicide Hotline. And then I called my mother.

I was at the hospital the next day.

From 2014 to 2024, I underwent seemingly countless medical tests and appointments. This resulted in my diagnosis changing multiple times, as well as the medications I was on. The medications were horrible, driving me further into agony. I began to binge-eat and became an alcoholic to cope. I gained a ton of weight, which only further deepened my self-loathing. To this day, I am still struggling with body dysmorphia (something Oren also struggles with - it was refreshing to see a male deal with this) after years of losing weight and dieting, and falling into a sort of ‘middle ground’ with my overall appearance. The alcohol ravaged my body. I never should’ve been drinking on any of the medications I was taking, especially the bipolar medication I was eventually put on in 2018.

In October 2020, just two days before my 24th birthday, I binge drank. I ended up in urgent care with heart palpitations. I was officially diagnosed as being an alcoholic, and was urged to go to the ER for my chest pain. My heart was fighting to beat normally, and the urgent care staff were deeply concerned.

Despite that, I returned home. I swore off alcohol. And I made a plan to quit my medications.

On my 24th birthday, I got my second tattoo: Take every thought captive. Stay in the fight.

And that is what I have been fighting to do since then.

I am now 29. I have been off all and any medications since January 2021. I struggled with THC addiction from November 2022 to January 2026. I still struggle with using alcohol to cope, despite having been completely sober for a few years.

I am not perfect. My healing journey has only just begun. And it is not linear.

But for the first time in my life, I have hope. Actual hope. Like the moonglow that night after my 18th birthday, I see Light on the horizon. I see a future where I’m living while I’m alive. 

I no longer crave death like I used to. I’ve learned that my life isn’t a death sentence - a prison of living with excruciating pain every day and terrifying nightmares every night.

I have people who love me. Truly. For who I am. Who I was. And who I can become. Who I want to be.

I have a God Who never left me. Not once, even when I blamed Him for my pain and turned away from Him in anger and fear.

I may lack much, but I have also gained much.

And part of that gain has been meeting and knowing Lily, and reading The Light Among the Shadows.

There is hope. There is light. There is forgiveness. There is redemption.

Keep walking forward. And if you stumble and fall, don’t give up. Some of the worst and hardest battles are won by fighting on your knees.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. - Romans 8:18

⟡ FAVORITE QUOTES ⟡

Here are some of my absolute favorite pieces of TLATS. Again, I left tabs ALL OVER this story and can’t possibly include them all, but here’s some of my highlights:

⟡ “Elouise’s grief would haunt me in the afterlife, even if it were heaven.” - pg. 29

⟡ “Once my siblings return to the festival, I withdraw to my room. I take the flower crown from my head, picturing Brenda Fields in it. She wears this crown above her wild curls, which are the color of wheat shining in the sun. Her eyes are somehow the same color, which always fascinated me. I miss her more than words: her bright smile, her boisterous laugh, and her endless tales of her life back home. To think, she’s out there!” - pg. 34

⟡ “The stunning, glowing round sinks into the horizon like roots into fertile soil. The colors of deep pink, orange, yellow, and purple swirl all around it. The sun’s rays caress my skin, infusing me with warmth akin to a flower basking in spring’s embrace, and I allow its beams to nourish and enrich my being. All the fear inside me melts from the warmth of the sun.” - pg. 41

⟡ “Something about his soft voice and his face is a dream I dreamt long ago but never forgot. In fact, I clung to it as long as I could, even if memories and pieces of it faded over time…I vividly remember him as always. After all, he was my friend for five years - the kindest, most adventurous, and best friend I could ever ask for. Now, he’s almost unrecognizable. Looking at him is like seeing a withered flower, starving for sunlight and water. His vibrancy is completely drained…Despite growing deprived of sunshine, the features I once admired remain. Like a river in daylight, his gleaming brown eyes always reflected the world around him…” - pg. 61-62

⟡ I felt joy, love, and value from my past, which made me want to hope for the better. Nothing else or no one else had ever given me that feeling, only Brenda. She’s responsible for the sense of beloved nostalgia these flowers bring. - pg. 69

⟡ “I know hope can hurt, but if we don’t ever hope, we’ll always hurt deep down. Hope is a motivator, Oren. Motivation is what you need. That’s why I hope because I’m never giving up on you. And you shouldn’t give up on yourself, either.” - pg. 71

⟡ “Do you know why he’s named Moo, Brenda?” he asks. “Because when he was born, Oren—” “Mistook him for a cow!” Brenda and Jace jointly finish the sentence. I’m partially relieved when they laugh together. - pg. 96-97

⟡ His spirit is blossoming, and I eagerly anticipate the growth and color that will emerge with increased sunlight. The limitation I perceive is reminiscent of his smile, which is genuine yet timid. I yearn to witness Oren Silvius in his full potential—his full bloom. - pg. 113-114

⟡ “Your stutter is nothing to be ashamed of. I think it’s cute.” - pg. 170

⟡ Without a doubt, this is what it tastes like—the love I’ve always longed for and never believed I could attain. She’s bestowing it upon me, and I’m eager to explore it all until I’ve memorized every aspect of her. I’m overwhelmed by my desire, allowing its passion to engulf my senses like a fiery inferno. Her kiss serves as the most effective remedy for my pain. Her sweetness elevates me far beyond the bitterness of my past wounds. - pg. 176-177

⟡ “If I hadn’t just thrown up, I would kiss you right now.” - pg. 186

⟡ “My heart flutters with joyous delight as I bask in the pleasure she brings me. It’s clear that this is the most extraordinary feeling I’ve ever experienced. My hopes soar high for the future. Having her by my side is everything. Losing her would tear my soul apart. This realization pains me as our lips part, and I yearn to never let her go or stop kissing her.” - pg. 214

⟡ “Wh-why is it pink?” I ask.
“What other color would bread be?” Gene asks.
“Um—brown.”
“Brown?” Kip questions.
“That’s boring.” Gene adds. - pg. 225

⟡ Their words are an easing comfort that I’ll hold on to. I should let go of my past pain and shame. I need to forgive myself. It’s as Syann said: “You don’t have to feel regret, either. We can’t change the past, but we can change our futures.” - pg. 230

⟡ “Also, you must be doing something right—the goddess herself fancies you.” Gene smirks. His reminder of Syann’s love for me makes me grin. My smile lingers as I view my completed sketch. It’s not perfect. Her ears are a little exaggerated. Her eyes aren’t roundly shaped how they should be, but I can tell it’s her—the one I love the most. - pg. 230

⟡ “I wish I w-w-was dead. I wish you’d let me die,” I mumble gruesomely.

“I hope one day that changes. That life treats you with something so special that it outweighs the troubles you’ve gone through.” - pg. 282-283

⟡ “You say that as if you didn’t nearly get yourself killed by falling from one of our trees,” Jace responds to me, and I swing my head toward him, startled by his statement. Elouise scolds him severely for it, while Gene awkwardly smiles. “I’m sorry. All I meant was you should keep your distance from trees. It rarely ends well.” - pg. 359

⟡ “Oren.” I utter his name. He’s been waiting for me, and I don’t plan on disappointing him. I manifest myself through the purest form of Light on Earth, in the beams of sunlight that shine on the one I love. - pg. 368

⟡ “Syann?” he barely whispers, scooting back. His cheeks are tearstained. Though he isn’t crying now, his blue eyes gloss over.

I set my hand on his cheek, lifting his chin gently. The shimmer in his eyes forms into falling tears. “I’m here. I heard you.” I choke up. - pg. 369

⟡ Oh, how long I could dwell in this kiss alone, while his arms encompass my waist, and my fingers get lost in his dark locks. However, I withdraw my lips as Elouise calls Oren’s name, shocked. I know Oren and I have infinite chances to explore every thread of our beings together, intimately. There’s no hurry—in fact, I will savor every moment with him. - pg. 386

⟡ I yearn to memorize every fiber, every freckle of him by heart, because Oren Silvius, you are the most exquisite one of humankind, and I’ll never get enough of you. My desire will never be satisfied, nor do I want it to be, because I want to relish you for all ages. And that I will. To think, this is just one moment of infinite elation I’ll share with him. This sheer instant scratches the surface of the bliss ahead of us. - pg. 392

⟡ I know who I am. I know the sun will never set on the hope inside me. My Light will shine for eternity, while the shadow it casts will forever be behind me. - pg. 395

⟡ CLOSING THOUGHTS ⟡

I know who I am. I know the sun will never set on the hope inside me. My Light will shine for eternity, while the shadow it casts will forever be behind me.

I will once again reiterate that The Light Among the Shadows is genuinely, truly, and honestly one of my favorite books and stories ever. Of my entire life. And I know it will remain so for the rest of my days. This story is one of those rare gems that you can pick up and hold to the light and see something unique and beautiful each time. As you turn it, it sparkles anew and reflects something within you, or a Truth outside of you, that brings encouragement, wisdom, and a renewal of faith and hope. Very few human-made stories have that kind of power, because very few authors seek that kind of Power that can only come from God Himself. In partnering with Him, inviting Him into the process of their creating and writing, He infuses His wisdom and life-giving Truths into their work. Lily has very clearly done that - it is evident not only in her story, but in her life and who she is. She, like her story, is a gem that contains a rare depth of all that is needed in this world: light, kindness, gentleness, humility, love, and hope. It’s been a genuine joy to both know her outside of her book, and to see the beauty of her soul in her story.